Ever since humans domesticated horses thousands of years ago, they’ve been our faithful companions, pulling our carriages, plowing our fields and kindly not throwing off small children placed on their backs for photo ops (thanks, Oreo!).
However, it’s not all work and no horseplay. If the early 20th-century newspapers are to be believed, horses were known to stirrup almost as much excitement as elephants, pigs and dogs.
1874 drawing of a race horse, a work horse, and a pony. From the Library of Congress.
One equine in particular gives new meaning to the word “horsepower:”
The usual order of things was reversed last week when an automobile owned by a Waitsburg man was kicked over a nine-foot embankment by a wrathy horse which objected to the driver of the machine sending it so close to him, says the Walla Walla Bulletin.
The accident occurred on the Baker ranch and the man driving the auto tried to pass three teams of horses on a piece of “filled” road. One of the horses became scared and backed into the machine, sending it over the embankment and giving a good kick as it went over. The parting shot badly damaged the seat of the auto.
It turns out there are enough alcoholic horses to start an equine branch of Alcoholics Anonymous:
Police arrested a beer-drinking horse and its owner here Monday when both were seen weaving down the street near a tavern.
Homer Carpenter, 50, of the two and three-quarter mile creek area in Kanawha County was confined at the city jail. The horse was taken to the city garage. Police said both were intoxicated.
Arresting officers said Carpenter admitted giving the wobbily-legged horse “about two quarts of beer.”
Carpenter paid his fine yesterday morning, picked up his sobered horse and departed.
In these horses’ defense, some—although not all—beers taste better than hay.
1907 photograph of a carriage horse drinking water. From the Library of Congress.
Finally, this horse makes Seabiscuit look like an underachiever:
The horse that thinks and calculates may be a beast of a wonderfully mathematical turn of mind, but it has not the musical ability of a certain accomplished Wexford jennet.
The jennet was the subject of a law suit yesterday in the Wexford County-court, Mr. James Murphy, who purchased the horse, suing Mr. Kirwan, the former owner, for £5 for alleged breach of warranty.
The plaintiff said that he paid £3 15s. for the horse. Defendant told him it was a wonder. It could draw a ton, and in its leisure could play the piano for him.
As a matter of fact, the animal could not draw 4cwt. of turnips. Moreover, it had a cough, and had not the appetite of an ass.
“Did you try him at the piano at all?” queried the solicitor for the defendant.
“The trombone was more in his line, I think,” said plaintiff’s solicitor.
Murphy added that subsequent to the sale of the jennet he met defendant, and the latter “had a kind of grin on him.”
One of these men learned an important lesson about holding his horses. If James would like for his new horse to live up to his reputation, I know a great piano teacher.
1910 photograph of a cowboy and his horse on a hill. From the Library of Congress.
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Disclaimer: The modern era is far from the first to grapple with rampant “fake news.” As I am neither a historian nor journalist, I make no claims about the accuracy or lack thereof of the above sources. I assert only that they make for a good story.
Welcome to Second Glance History! This blog seeks to uncover the people and the stories forgotten by history and give them another read through a modern lens. Join me every week as we examine the differences that divide and the common threads that connect the then to the now.
Perhaps trotting out a gallop poll rating the best of these stories?
😂🤣 What a mane-ificent and equine-cellent idea!
Did you plan this, or was it spur of the moment. Either way, it’s haylarious.
Hay thanks, that’s the nicest thing I’ve herd all day! ☺️