Clip of the Week: May 18, 2022

A burn worthy of Madame Palatine: Some of the papers are chiding the Clarion-Ledger for plagiarism. That is nothing new, but these papers are a long time finding it out. The Clarion-Ledger would purloin a whole chapter from the bible if it thought it could palm it off on the public as original. – The Read More

Clip of the Week: May 4, 2022

Sir Robert Ball, the astronomer, is fond of telling an amusing story against himself. He is a round-faced, jovial-looking man in appearance, not resembling in the least the ordinary conception of a famous scientist. Once he was engaged to lecture in a remote part of Ireland, and found no vehicle waiting for him at the Read More

Clip of the Week: April 20, 2022

A court-house in a certain provincial town stands near a common. During one of the cases that were being tried there counsel was in the middle of his speech for the defence, when a donkey outside began to bray. The judge, who was notorious for his wit, put up his hand at this juncture, and Read More

Clip of the Week: April 6, 2022

Somebody never learned the Golden Rule: “Mark Twain insists [in his 1909 book Is Shakespeare Dead?] that [Sir Francis] Bacon wrote Shakespeare,” says the Youngstown Telegram. A hundred years or so from now somebody may be insisting that George Bernard Shaw wrote “Huckleberry Finn;” and we know Mark would not relish that idea. – The Read More

Clip of the Week: March 23, 2022

It was worth a shot: F. M. Orchard’s home has been robbed many times. Published a “want ad:” “Mr. Burglar, please write. State what you want, and we will prepare it, but don’t muss up the house.” – The Day Book, January 18, 1913 Sounds like somebody could use one of these: Read More

Clip of the Week: March 9, 2022

Dear readers, it’s your lucky day: You get TWO bad puns for the price of one! You’re welcome. Governess, why should people always select the serpent as the symbol of evil and badness? Resourceful Governess: Well, you see, the poor thing hasn’t a leg to stand on. Does your daughter play on the piano? Old Read More

Clip of the Week: February 23, 2022

With friends like these. . . Maud: I didn’t see you at your friend Mr. Smith’s wedding. Frank: No; I don’t believe in gloating over my friends’ misfortunes. – The Ottumwa Courier, November 24, 1903 Mr. Smith: “I don’t know you from a bar of soap!” Read More

Clip of the Week: February 9, 2022

Good news for all my fellow single ladies: When does a girl become an old maid? This interesting problem is being thrashed out by the Passionist Father Alexis, of New York, who says that ridiculous notions exist on the subject. Addressing his church congregation yesterday, he said that all women are young until they are Read More

Clip of the Week: January 26, 2022

As a Chicagoan, I’m equal parts flattered and offended: The elegance of the Chicago criminal is attested by the fact that policemen in that city mistook [Illinois senator] Mr. J. Hamilton Lewis for a bank robber. – The Evening Star, October 30, 1913 In their defense, here in Chicago, our politicians and our criminals are Read More

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