Clip of the Week: March 23, 2022

It was worth a shot: F. M. Orchard’s home has been robbed many times. Published a “want ad:” “Mr. Burglar, please write. State what you want, and we will prepare it, but don’t muss up the house.” – The Day Book, January 18, 1913 Sounds like somebody could use one of these: Read More

Clip of the Week: March 9, 2022

Dear readers, it’s your lucky day: You get TWO bad puns for the price of one! You’re welcome. Governess, why should people always select the serpent as the symbol of evil and badness? Resourceful Governess: Well, you see, the poor thing hasn’t a leg to stand on. Does your daughter play on the piano? Old Read More

Clip of the Week: February 23, 2022

With friends like these. . . Maud: I didn’t see you at your friend Mr. Smith’s wedding. Frank: No; I don’t believe in gloating over my friends’ misfortunes. – The Ottumwa Courier, November 24, 1903 Mr. Smith: “I don’t know you from a bar of soap!” Read More

Clip of the Week: February 9, 2022

Good news for all my fellow single ladies: When does a girl become an old maid? This interesting problem is being thrashed out by the Passionist Father Alexis, of New York, who says that ridiculous notions exist on the subject. Addressing his church congregation yesterday, he said that all women are young until they are Read More

Clip of the Week: January 26, 2022

As a Chicagoan, I’m equal parts flattered and offended: The elegance of the Chicago criminal is attested by the fact that policemen in that city mistook [Illinois senator] Mr. J. Hamilton Lewis for a bank robber. – The Evening Star, October 30, 1913 In their defense, here in Chicago, our politicians and our criminals are Read More

Clip of the Week: January 12, 2022

Too old for dolls, too young for romance, but just the right age for some tough love: Cynthia Grey’s Advice to Jealous Miss. I am a girl of 13, and am in love with a young man of 18. He goes with another girl and I am very jealous. He does not seem to care Read More

Clip of the Week: December 29, 2021

If you’re still looking for a New Year’s resolution, history has some suggestions for you: Some New Year Don’ts . . . Don’t try to get the better of a man who hasn’t any. Don’t snore in church. It’s mean to keep others awake. . . Don’t get married with the sole idea that misery Read More

Clip of the Week: December 15, 2021

A meeting of the unemployed was called for Saturday night, but it proved a great fiasco. . . The convener of the meeting unexpectedly asserted that there was plenty of work, then said there was none, and concluded by returning to his first statement and offering to get work for any who said they could Read More

Clip of the Week: December 1, 2021

Andrew Shampney of Yonkers, N. Y., has appealed to the police to make his wife stop kissing and hugging him so much. – The Day Book, July 9, 1912 Don’t worry, Andrew, something tells me your soon-to-be ex-wife won’t kiss or hug you ever again. But when the judge grants her alimony request, her divorce Read More

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