Do you ever stare at your boring bread box, your insipid ice cream or your uninteresting underwear and wistfully wonder how the other half lives? Wonder no more: the truth is, the experiences of the rich and famous are just as commonplace as yours and mine.
If you couldn’t get enough of celebrities being ordinary after reading Second Glance History’slast post, you’re in luck: I’m back with another relatable royal, the infamous Kaiser Wilhelm II. However, considering his “immeasurably exaggerated self-confidence and desire to show off” – to say nothing of his starring role in the First World War – I hope you don’t see too much of yourself in him.
1867 photograph of the future Kaiser Wilhelm II from Wikimedia Commons.
[At the wedding of the future King Edward VII and Queen Alexandra of the United Kingdom] the Kaiser was then a child of five, and was known to be of a fidgety disposition. Consequently his uncles, the Dukes of Edinburgh and Connaught, were told off to sit next to him and keep him in strict order.
The service seemed to him too long, and he presently began to shuffle his feet impatiently. A warning nudge admonished him; but the results were not such as had been anticipated. The infant price knelt down, and bit his two uncles in the calves of their legs, not playfully, but in such deadly earnest that they had much ado not to cry aloud with the pain.
Considering how things turned out, the dukes should’ve given him a time-out.
They try new foods.
Wilhelm came to the throne at 29 years old, after the untimely death of his father. By all accounts, he was autocratic, abrasive and obsessed with the military. Say what you will about his personality, but at least he didn’t grow up to be a picky eater.
It is announced that the German sovereign has added buckwheat cakes to the royal menu; also codfish cakes, hominy pancakes, oatmeal and Welsh rarebit! By his order the imperial chef took passage on an American liner, and on the voyage was instructed in the preparation of a long list of typically American dishes. . .
The emperor has but just embarked on his culinary conquest, and there are still world to conquer. The Welsh rarebit will but give him an appetite for the golden buck, the codfish cake, for the brownbread and baked beans, and the buckwheat cake, for minced pie. And after these there will still remain scrapple and fried mush.
I’ll leave Wilhelm’s role in World War I to the historians. Fast forwarding to 1918, he was forced to abdicate the throne and move to an estate in the Netherlands, where his wife of 40 years died in 1921.
There are some people who should not be single, and according to his neighbors, Wilhelm was one of them:
Many reasons, political and romantic, are given to account for the ex-Kaiser’s sudden plunge into matrimony, but according to the Weekly Despatch’s Amsterdam correspondent he was lured into marriage because he talked too much.
The plot originated among Dutch noblemen, neighbours of the exile, who, tired to death of his garrulous confidences and postprandial boastings, conceived the brilliant notion of providing him with a wife as an efficient conversation buffer. They were unable to refuse his invitations to lunch and dinner, and so created the scheme in sheer self-defence.
The Kaiser proved an easy and willing victim. One nobleman casually raised the subject of re-marriage and the Kaiser became immediately interested. Thereafter the conspirators adroitly turned the conversation to the same subject at every opportunity, till Wilhelm was finally convinced and went about gathering suggestions for a suitable bride. . .
At the [wedding] luncheon the Kaiser seemed to forget his vow not to drink French wines, as he was observed enjoying glasses of Burgundy.
When I’m home for the holidays and well-meaning relatives ask me when I’m getting married, I’ll know it’s my conversation skills they’re really wondering about.
If Wilhelm’s temper tantrums, culinary experimentation and grating habits are making you look in the mirror, don’t assume you’re a long-lost royal relation—been there, done that. Instead, take comfort in knowing that no matter how annoying your habits, they don’t disqualify you from being a celebrity.
Did you click through Facebook or Twitter? We got lucky—don’t let social media algorithms keep you from seeing a post! Save yourself a click, and subscribe to have stories delivered to your inbox as soon as they’re published.
Disclaimer: The modern era is far from the first to grapple with rampant “fake news.” As I am neither a historian nor journalist, I make no claims about the accuracy or lack thereof of the above sources. I assert only that they make for a good story.
Tantrums? “Check” Trying new foods? “Aw hell yeah” Annoying the neighbors? Yup. Causing the death of millions and leaving Europe in ashes? “Damn…..I gotta step my game up….”
Welcome to Second Glance History! This blog seeks to uncover the people and the stories forgotten by history and give them another read through a modern lens. Join me every week as we examine the differences that divide and the common threads that connect the then to the now.
Tantrums?
“Check”
Trying new foods?
“Aw hell yeah”
Annoying the neighbors?
Yup.
Causing the death of millions and leaving Europe in ashes?
“Damn…..I gotta step my game up….”
You’re in luck! He wrote a how-to book: https://www.gutenberg.org/files/43522/43522-h/43522-h.htm 😂