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2020 Presidential Endorsement
On March 11, 2020 by ElyseYou might not have heard, but the U.S. is in the midst of a teeny, tiny, not-at-all-consequential presidential election. And not everyone is excited about a field limited to three white, septuagenarian men. If you’re on the verge of chucking your TV out the window next time you see a campaign ad, allow me to
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Bram’s Buddy
On February 26, 2020 by ElyseInspired by a recent weekend in Dublin, I’m digging deeper into the story of Bram Stoker. Get ready for vampires! Epic battles between good and evil! And copious amounts of garlic! Whoops, wrong book. Today, he’s renowned around the world as the author of the novel that spawned a thousand teenybopper vampire romances, but in
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5 Times Love Conquered All
On February 12, 2020 by ElyseHowever, by “love,” I mean practical jokes and boredom. And by “all,” I mean unpronounceable surnames and social awkwardness. You know, insurmountable obstacles. Regardless of your relationship status, take comfort in knowing that at least you (hopefully) haven’t had to beg a governor to release your significant other or had to scrounge up a date
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Lost and Found
On January 29, 2020 by ElyseMy terrible sense of direction reared its ugly head, and I got horribly lost. It’s hard to put into words how awful this makes me feel. It isn’t really that I’m afraid I’ll never find my way (although I suppose that’s a tiny, irrational part), but the sense of helplessness and frustration it evokes. I
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The Great Discoverer
On January 15, 2020 by ElyseRoundworms. Dinosaurs. Giant Sloths. No, these creatures are not residents of Old MacDonald’s farm or entries in J. K. Rowling’s Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. Rather, they represent the tip of the iceberg of Dr. Joseph Leidy’s wide-ranging scientific discoveries. No matter how impressive your resume, you’ve got nothing on this 19th-century Renaissance
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Banning Fun: New Year’s Eve, 1913
On January 1, 2020 by ElyseIn the waning weeks of 1913, Carter Harrison IV, mayor of a city renowned for its vices, was determined to stamp all the merriment out of Chicago’s New Year’s celebrations: Late-night drinking and tango dancing and hat tickling, oh my! I hadn’t heard of a hat tickler, but since it’s forbidden, I’ve never wanted an
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A Brooklyn Christmas Carol
On December 25, 2019 by ElyseAs any child knows, stealing—especially if a creepy elf is watching from a shelf—usually lands you on the naughty list. However, in the case of poverty-stricken mother Anna Lobell, Santa Claus might want to check his list twice. Two women were arraigned. . . in Brooklyn yesterday, both charged with shoplifting. One of them was
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18th-Century Public Service Announcement
On December 11, 2019 by ElyseOn December 31, 1790, Captain Clement Lemon signed an unusual agreement with Boston merchant Thomas Ramsden. As a condition of captaining the Mary Ann on an upcoming voyage, the Revolutionary War veteran and—I like to believe—ancestor of the illustrious Liz Lemon promised: Be it Known; I Clement Lemon do hereby Agree to, and with, Thomas
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Revenge of the Turkey
On November 27, 2019 by ElyseAs a staple of the holiday feast, Thanksgiving can be tough on turkeys (vegetarians, too—but that’s another story). However, if any are reading, take heart: History shows that once in a while, turkeys come out on top—and not just the top rack of the oven. Does a turkey gobbler possess the same remarkable mental faculties