Romeo Gone Wrong
On February 8, 2023 by ElyseIt’s that time of year again: cliché greeting cards, overpriced supermarket chocolate and for Second Glance History readers, cringeworthy tales of all the ways love can turn sour. History teaches us that all it takes is a misplaced coffin, one small yawn at your wedding or a passing resemblance to your mother, and you might find yourself broken-hearted and freezing to death in a cave.
The ultimate love story gone wrong is, of course, Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet. In this iconic tale, two star-crossed lovers are kept apart by their feuding families and their inability to communicate. It turns out that 19th-century lovers were no better at the latter than their Renaissance-era counterparts.

One of the most ridiculous misadventures of this season of love for two and pistols for one is reported from Barnett, Ga., that fruitful land of romance and poetry and elopement.
A swain from Washington, Ga., had plotted to bear away in the dead hours of the night from her ancestral home a girl of 17 years. The scene of action was to be modeled after the Romeo and Juliet order of romance.
Their high school English curriculum clearly didn’t include Shakespeare.
The blushing and lovely Capulet was to jump from the balcony, or the veranda, as it is called over in Georgia, into the arms of Romeo, who, pistol in pocket, impersonated love among the roses in the garden, or rather the parterre below. At a rap on the glass the lovely meteor was to shoot through the window and coalesce with the fluttering Lochinvar, who waited on the verge of distraction to catch the falling star.
Aside from the mixed literary metaphors, what could go wrong?
Alas! The course of true love never did run smooth. Lochinvar had two of the three unities—the time and circumstances—by heart, but the “place” was all wrong. He rapped gently, but it was at the wrong window.
Admittedly, that’s a big miscommunication—but at least no one died. Yet.
It was not a girl of 17, but a bread-and-butter miss of 10 years who awoke, and she immediately shriek out, invoking the presence of her “Paw,” as that gentleman is called in Georgia.
He came, he saw, he conquered, but not before Romeo, in his terrible agitation, pulled the trigger of the nuptial pistol and shot himself in the foot, inflicting a “painful but not serious wound.” The wounded youth fell bleeding through the moonlight or starlight, and so ended the first act of the serio-comedy.
It wouldn’t be a love story if someone didn’t get hurt.
He “ran smooth,” it is true; but a man who can measure his sorrows by the foot is not apt to find sweet or any other solace in a strained construction of the philosophy of poetry.
– The Alexandria Gazette, February 17, 1886
Could’ve been worse. At least this play doesn’t include any poison, daggers or murdered cousins.
We’re left hanging as to how the second act ends, but given the characters’ inability to even find a kindly friar, I feel certain we can plagiarize from the original:
For never was a story of more woe / Than this of Juliet and her Romeo.
– William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet




Recent Posts You
May Have Missed
Did you click through Facebook or Twitter? We got lucky—don’t let social media algorithms keep you from seeing a post! Save yourself a click, and subscribe to have stories delivered to your inbox as soon as they’re published.
Disclaimer: The modern era is far from the first to grapple with rampant “fake news.” As I am neither a historian nor journalist, I make no claims about the accuracy or lack thereof of the above sources. I assert only that they make for a good story.
Share this:
- Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window)
- Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
- Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
- Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)
- Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window)
- Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)
- Click to share on Pocket (Opens in new window)
- Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window)
4 comments
Leave a Reply Cancel reply
This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.
Recent Posts
Subscribe to the Blog via Email
Search
Archives
- September 2023
- August 2023
- July 2023
- June 2023
- May 2023
- April 2023
- March 2023
- February 2023
- January 2023
- December 2022
- November 2022
- October 2022
- September 2022
- August 2022
- July 2022
- June 2022
- May 2022
- April 2022
- March 2022
- February 2022
- January 2022
- December 2021
- November 2021
- October 2021
- September 2021
- August 2021
- July 2021
- June 2021
- May 2021
- April 2021
- March 2021
- February 2021
- January 2021
- December 2020
- November 2020
- October 2020
- September 2020
- August 2020
- July 2020
- June 2020
- May 2020
- April 2020
- March 2020
- February 2020
- January 2020
- December 2019
- November 2019
- October 2019
- September 2019
- August 2019
- July 2019
- June 2019
- May 2019
- April 2019
- March 2019
- February 2019
- January 2019
- December 2018
- November 2018
- October 2018
- September 2018
- August 2018
About This Blog
Welcome to Second Glance History! This blog seeks to uncover the people and the stories forgotten by history and give them another read through a modern lens. Join me every week as we examine the differences that divide and the common threads that connect the then to the now.
I’m not sure which was more hurl-inducing; the story or the manner in which it was written. 🤮
Definitely the latter. The writer cheated by not using rhyming couplets!
“In other news today, scientists have noted strange seismological activity in Stratford-Upon-Avon England that appears to be centered around the Holy Trinity church. The activity appears to be rotational in nature…”
😂😂😂 I just wonder what took him so long! Romeo + Juliet came out in 1996…