Clip of the Week: October 20, 2021

A dreadful calm pervades the County Clerk’s office, and the naturally-industrious clerks therein are reluctantly compelled to sit around, reading The Tribune, borrowing chewing tobacco from stray reporters, and retailing stories so old that they have been forgotten since the war of 1812. The fact is that an alarming decrease has been shown in the Read More

The Importance of Being Clothed

While it’s important to be earnest, we all know what happened when the emperor ordered new clothes. Priorities, people. On a scale of embarrassment, getting caught with your pants down is right up there with failing gym class, wearing a hat in Parliament and getting your hair stuck in flypaper. What’s even worse, however, is Read More

Clip of the Week: October 6, 2021

“When young, I was the architect of my own fortunes.” “Did they have building inspectors in those days?” – The Day Book, October 21, 1915 After that burn, my fortunes are now in need of a doctor, along with a general contractor, electrician, plumber, interior designer, landscaper and while I’m at it, a bartender, too. Read More

Clip of the Week: September 8, 2021

If this is why my mail carrier is delivering my letters weeks late, I forgive them. At Winters, Cal., a pup was slipped into the mails and reached Elmer Crews in Bayford, Trinity county, 220 miles away. The dog was recognized as first-class mail for three days. He was fed, watered and petted the entire Read More

Clip of the Week: August 25, 2021

And here I thought I was salty over the money—to say nothing of the closure—my ex still owes me: Are you aware that the actual cash value of broken hearts is increasing as rapidly as the high cost of living? What, do you suppose, a broken heart is worth today? Or to put the question Read More

Planes, Feigns and Automobiles

It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s. . . me in the pilot seat! Well, close enough. A few weeks ago, I checked off a bucket list item and took a flying lesson. I wasn’t flying quite like Superman, but I sure felt like a superhero when I successfully turned the ignition key in the Read More

Clip of the Week: August 11, 2021

Because counting sheep is so 19th century: William West, a north side stableman, was discovered by a policeman standing on his head, fast asleep and snoring enthusiastically. West, when aroused, said he had intended merely to rest his head on hay in the manger, but slipped in head first and kept right on with his Read More

Meandering around Milwaukee

In my [censored] years on this earth, I’ve been fortunate enough to crisscross continents and fly across oceans. Yet somehow, I’ve never visited Milwaukee, a city practically in my own backyard—until now. As you read this, I’m on my way there and intend to eat however much cheese it takes to become a certified cheesehead. Read More

Clip of the Week: July 28, 2021

Straphanging need no longer be a terror to travelers on the underground railways. All they have to do is to follow the example of Mr. George Flake, of Cincinnati, who has solved the problem in an ingenious manner. Mr. Flake’s method, according to the New York correspondent of the “Daily Express,” is to carry in Read More

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