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Not Dead Yet

Good news for conspiracy theorists and Monty Python fans alike:

From the Evening Star, March 17, 1919.

The King lives! Except, by “the King,” I don’t mean Elvis. In fact, it’s “the prince” who’s back from the dead—Crown Prince Rudolf, heir apparent to the throne of the Austro-Hungarian Empire.

The lamestream media, history textbooks and just about everyone else would have sheeple believe that 30-year-old Prince Rudolf died in 1889 with his mistress in a mysterious murder-suicide at a hunting lodge in Mayerling, Austria. However, according to several 1919 American newspapers:  

The rural populations of large districts of the provinces of Lower Austria and Styria. . . refused to accept this official statement, and their suspicion was nourished at the time by the fact that the coffin of the crown prince at the funeral was extremely small, while the crown prince himself was a powerful man. The story went that the crown prince had really not been murdered at all, but that he had fled across the big pond.

– The Evening Star, March 17, 1919

Irrefutable proof, right there. You can’t argue with a tape measure.

Pre-1889 photograph of the hunting lodge and outbuildings at Mayerling. From Wikimedia Commons.

You’ll never guess where Rudolf showed up next:

Ever since [the First World War] there is a growing belief among the rural population that the crown prince, who, as will be remembered, was addicted to scientific researches, is identical with Prof. Woodrow Wilson, President of the United State of America. The remarkable thing is that there is an evident optimism as to the future of Austria connected with this legend, for the people say it is plain that Wilson, being in reality Crown Prince Rudolf, will not let his beloved Austria perish.

– The Evening Star, March 17, 1919
From the Washburn Times, May 1, 1919.

Forget who really killed President John F. Kennedy and President Barack Obama’s birth certificate—it’s President Wilson’s we ought to be clamoring for. He was conveniently teaching at Wesleyan University in Connecticut the year Rudolf died. However, “Mayerling” and “Wesleyan” have five letters in common, and “W” is just an upside down “M.” That has to mean something, right?

It may not be surprising if at the coming election for the national assembly President Wilson will be nominated by the country people of lower Austria and Styria as principal candidate and land as the first president of the German-Austrian republic.

– The Evening Star, March 17, 1919

Politicians, take note: With a little plastic surgery to transform you into a doppelganger, you could save yourselves $1.4 billion next election cycle.

1887 portrait of Prince Rudolf. From Wikimedia Commons.
1902 portrait of President Woodrow Wilson. From Wikimedia Commons.

While there must be a totally plausible explanation. . . I admit I don’t see the resemblance. What do you think?

Can’t get enough royal conspiracy theories? You’re in luck! Have you heard the one about Rudolf’s “daughter?“


Am I trying too hard?

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Disclaimer: The modern era is far from the first to grapple with rampant “fake news.” As I am neither a historian nor journalist, I make no claims about the accuracy or lack thereof of the above sources. I assert only that they make for a good story.

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