As a staple of the holiday feast, Thanksgiving can be tough on turkeys (vegetarians, too—but that’s another story). However, if any are reading, take heart: History shows that once in a while, turkeys come out on top—and not just the top rack of the oven.
Does a turkey gobbler possess the same remarkable mental faculties as does the elephant?
. . . Over seven years ago Miss Elsie Gunther visited the farm of her uncle and teased the gobbler with a cane which had ribbons tied to it. The turkey chased her around the barnyard. The incident was forgotten and school work and business kept the niece from again visiting her uncle until seven years had passed.
Miss Gunther, free from school duties and languishing for the free air of the country, went to the Benton farm last week. The first thing she did was to trip across the barnyard toward the cow pens as she had done years ago. Before she was across the lawn a big turkey gobbler, the same one which attacked her seven years ago, flew at her face and struck her a blow that almost threw her into a heap. The turkey continued his attack until [the farmer] captured and imprisoned him.
– The Valentine Democrat, September 9, 1909
Turkeys, 2; obnoxious schoolgirls; 0.
Aside from an occasional victory on a farm, turkeys tend to triumph in the inane, appallingly violent cartoons of the early 20th century. (Click here for larger image.)
I’m not sure if I’m more disturbed by the man’s unprovoked aggression towards the turkey or the child running around with an axe. Speaking of which:
(Click here for larger image.)
Young Tommy might not have had a nice Thanksgiving, but at least there’s one turkey out there who did. Hopefully, he gobbled a report to Child Protective Services about the small child playing with a hatchet.
If Elsie Gunther’s tormentor is any indication, the long-suffering turkey is out for more than a hint of poetic justice.
Whether you’re cooking, eating, playing football, avoiding your relatives or running away from a maniac with an axe, may you and yours have a happy Thanksgiving!
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Disclaimer: The modern era is far from the first to grapple with rampant “fake news.” As I am neither a historian nor journalist, I make no claims about the accuracy or lack thereof of the above sources. I assert only that they make for a good story.